I used to be a runner.
I don’t like writing that, but there it is. I’m not a runner anymore, and that bothers me, because I really liked being a runner.
The sense of accomplishment was awesome. The runner’s high was addictive. I loved measuring distance in terms of how long it would take me to run it. (10 miles? Less than two hours, baby!) It felt good to know that in the event of zombie apocalypse, my cardio was strong.
But then came the injury. New Years’ Eve, 2011, I blew out my right ankle something fierce. It took six weeks for me to get back to running again, and when I did, I had to go back to paltry 2-milers, instead of the 5+ miles I’d been regularly running by that point. That sucked.
And then, impatient soul that I am, I indulged in a bit of overtraining, and the ol’ ITB started twinging in my left knee. Brilliant.
I’d take a couple weeks off to let the knee heal, then, thinking I’d be fine just scaling back on distance, I’d go off on another run. Except, invariably, I’d push too hard, even if I thought I wasn’t, and *SPROING!* went the knee.
Rinse, repeat.
So here I am now, faced with the realization that I can no longer call myself a runner, and if I want to get back to that approaching-half-marathon health level, I need to start from the ground up and injury proof my training by taking it easy, dammit!
This doesn’t sit well.
But y’know what? If I want to be a runner again, I’m going to have to put in my time, put in the training, and eschew the shortcuts. Back to the beginning of the 13-week walk-run program I go. Why? Because I want it. Because I need to run. Because I love it, and it’s worth doing, and I feel better about myself when I do it.
Kind of like writing, no?
If I’m to be published, there can be no shortcuts. I simply have to keep at it, day by day, slogging through the stories even when I’m not feeling inspired. And if I have to scrap an entire novella and start it over from scratch because that’s what the story demands? I gotta do it.
How much do I want to be a runner?
How much do I want to be a writer?
How committed am I?
Enough, baby.s
Yup.
Guilty. It’s not enough to have run or to have written. These things require upkeep. Sigh.
Aww, I don’t think I knew that about your knee.
I hope you can get back to where you before. Taking it slow can be really hard. Even after publication, it’s a slow slogging along. I want certain things, still, and I just have to keep hitting my goals one after the other. I think it helps to always keep the mindset of being int he middle of stuff, always working, and not feeling like there’s always a goal – just enjoying where I am. I hope you can find enjoyment in those walks. 
Yeah, I tend to push too hard, m’dear. In most things. Hence my propensity for self-injury. Apparently slow and steady really *does* win the race.
Sorry to hear about your injuries!
You’re right, of course. Totally right. I should also try this. Thing is, with running I like to see how far I can push myself. For some reason I find it fun to go at a pace that I know isn’t going to last but is exhilarating. Ahhhhh. Maybe I need to slow down and find a better pace.
<3
Oh, I enjoy the exhilarating pace too, m’dear. Just I tend to overdo it and then my body screams at me. Le sigh.
Lovely to see you around these parts, though, Mia.
Sorry to hear about your injuries!
I totally agree. Totally totally. I tend to want to push myself when I run. I always regret it but somehow I need to know how far I can push myself. Ahhh. I guess I need to find a more suitable pace.
<3
I really appreciated your analogy between running and writing. I don’t run myself, but I do bike and have other pursuits that require maintenance and training. It’s nice thinking that if I have the perseverance and self-regulation to do them, I can keep up with writing too, and vice versa. Thank you for the reminder!
You’re welcome for the reminder, good lady. I’d type more but I’m about to head out for a run.
Sigh. I gave up running such a long time ago that I don’t miss the running. I miss the distant memory of being fit.
My memories aren’t all that distant, m’dear, so the comparisons are much fresher. Also, my legs hurt today, but that goes with the territory, yes?